Meaning of Odyssey a long wandering or voyage usually marked by many changes of fortune
Meaning of Pilgrimage a journey, especially a long one, made to some sacred place as an act of religious devotion
Now... let me tell you a true story...
Almost 13 years ago, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's B Cell Lymphoma after going through many embarrassing and humiliating tests of which I was then unfamiliar so they made me feel very uncomfortable. To determine staging of the cancer, I was told by my Oncologist that he would be performing a BONE MARROW BIOPSY on me in his office. If it was going to be in his office then I would not be put asleep. I asked as many people as I could think of and did as much research as I could imagine to determine the extent of the PAIN that I was going to have to endure.
I was enormously anxious for about 3 weeks and as the date got closer, I got more nervous and anxious, not being able to sleep just thinking about it. My wife told me I was being silly and that it could not be as much pain as having a baby. Her comment made me furious because she was showing no empathy for my plight and I did not realize that I was being selfish.
On the day of the procedure, I start sweating all over my upper body as we drove to his office. I wanted to stop the car... turn around and never look back... I knew that I could not...
Once in the exam room where the procedure was to be performed and as I lay on the table, I felt like I was going to pass out as waves of increasing nausea rummage around throughout my entire body. Then... I remembered what Jesus said on the cross, just as he began to stick the large retrieval needle into my hip... so, I said to myself, "JESUS INTO YOUR HANDS I PLACE MYSELF."
Today, I cannot remember how many times I said that phrase... once... twice... more than twice... and today I wonder if I was being sacrilegious or not... but, as he push the needle in I told him that I was feeling a little pressure that was making me feel very uncomfortable... so, the Oncologist said, "let me try another spot."
As the Oncologist pushed the large retrieval needle into the second spot on my hip, something totally unexpected but HOPED FOR HAPPENED... I FELT NOTHING... NO PAIN AT ALL... and, to make matter even more unusual than they already were, the Oncologist had to stop turning the large retrieval needle and rest his hand because my bones were so HARD that the turning was hurting his hand(s).
I still cannot believe that this really happened but it did...
Was it the skill of my Oncologist or was it my FAITH?
I have thought about this event off and on again during the entire extent of my journey thus far and today came to the conclusion that my cancer journey was neither a journey or an odyssey, but a PILGRIMAGE that was only designed for one... ME...
As\I was writing this and thinking about the photos I wanted to use to illustrate my pilgrimage, religious photos that I reviewed did not seem to capture the struggle of my journey or the mental religious turmoil with which I would struggle... until I realized that the character in KUNG FU made a similar solitary journey encountering both good and evil along the way. I remember watching the shows and seeing him walk through valleys, fields, and deserts alone yet always with his spiritual beliefs.
While I am not alone because I have my family, what I actually experience both physically, emotionally, and mentally puts me in the ALONE CATEGORY and it is ONLY ME who must deal with ME and MY FAITH... the faith that I exhibited on the day of my bone marrow procedure... this cancer journey is my pilgrimage toward my faith...
Not only did I share this story with my SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASS but I added to it with another story immediately following... in this story I simply said that contracting cancer was like the shepherd who broke the legs of a straying lamb and then carried that lamb around on his shoulders. GOD broke my legs with cancer and now HE is carrying me around on HIS SHOULDERS...
No comments:
Post a Comment