Some days when I wake up, I feel refreshed and full of life and other days I feel like I have not gotten enough sleep with a less than positive outlook but not necessarily depression. I cannot predict how each morning will be nor can I predict how each day will unfold in the sense will these sensations continue or will my feelings change... and, I try not to recall what the earlier days of my treatments were like because my constant vomiting was the worst experience of my life. I would be lying on the cold tile floor because I felt like I was going to pass out, and my entire upper body would be covered in dripping sweat; my entire upper body would convulse and arch and I could feel myself pulling up through my throat and stomach something hidden deep inside my body. Only nothing would come out.
I would continue to do this until a tiny amount of liquid would emerge from my mouth and all my symptoms would suddenly disappear and the sweat made me shiver uncontrollably for several minutes. It would be several more minutes before I had the strength to pull myself up from the floor, put on a bathrobe and stumble back into bed. I would rest but not sleep for a couple of hours and the process would happen all over again.
After a half dozen times, I would go the the ER and as soon as they infused ZOFRAN into my body, I would immediately feel there had been nothing wrong with me at all and I could not understand why I had wanted to go there, other than my memories.
It was a horrible experience every months for 6 months that I wish on nobody.
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