Care & Feeding of the Elderly

There is one critical issue that many of us overlook, for one
reason or another, and that is the emotional support that the elderly need for their peace-of-mind and quality of life.  Oftentimes, we simply ignore our elderly from many perspectives.

• We call them on the telephone rather than visit
• We don't invite them on our family vacations
• We treat them as old and feeble when in their presence
• We don't look through their eyes
• We have little in common with them
• We don't respect their age and wisdom
• We criticize them on how they raised us
• We do not maintain any communications at all
• We assume they can take care of themselves
• We assume they don't need us as we don't need them

The elderly are not infants or children but they are human beings and like to be in the presence of family and participate in the activities of their children's families without obligating too much of their time or trying to control their development.  They just want to participate in the sharing.

Unfortunately, many children (myself included) do not include their parents in their activities from time-to-time.  From my perspective, I visited my parents during the Holidays like Christmas and Thanksgivings but not necessarily birthdays or other holidays.  I would call or send a card.  However, my wife invited my mother once, when we went to Myrtle Beach, SC.

Once my father died, I only visited my mother quarterly, even though I would talk to her on the telephone every Sunday...  Now, that I am her age, I realize my phone calls were not enough.  I rationalize my absence by the fact that my sister and her husband lived nearby.

For all intents and purposes, I ignored my parent's mental health making the assumption that they had each other or that my mother had the people with whom she lived with at the Retirement Center.

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND............  AS IT IS MY TURN NOW.............