REMEMBERING

It is difficult going back over the 12 years that I have had cancer and all the tests, procedures, and treatments through which I have had to endure...  sometimes, all I want to do is forget and move on with my life.

Funny in a way or maybe it is ironic, but I kept a notebook of everything at the beginning; however, I have never gone back to look at that notebook during these last 12 years.

I moved from TN to KY for about a year to work and that move forced me to make contact with a new Oncologist, who, according to the research he had conducted, a very aggressive approach towards my kind of lymphoma was recommended; consequently, my new chemo cocktail consisted of:  Rituxan, Cytoxin, and Fludara given over a two day period of time for about 6 hours each day...   and, the needle in my forearm stayed in overnight, so it was wrapped quite securely.

My treatment lasted for 6 months and I went every other week...  I arranged my treatments on Thursdays and Fridays so that I could have the weekend in case I was sick.  But, I never stopped going to work during these 6 months nor did I miss a day of work because I was sick.

With that said, after every treatment, I was taken to the emergency room by my wife because I could not stop vomiting.  It was a horrible experience.  None of the anti-nausea pills that were prescribed for me worked.

When I get nauseous to the point of vomiting, I have to lay down on the bathroom floor on the tiles.  Laying down on the bed or laying down on a wooden floor or carpet will not work as I still feel like I am going to pass out.

I lay on my side with my head on my outstretchd arms and breathe in and out deeply.  My upper body breaks out in a full blown sweat as if I just stepped out of the shower without drying off.  The top of my body feels super heated and I begin haing the dry heaves with my body arching up in the air farther than I think is possible.

This lasts for 20-30 minutes sometimes 40-50 minutes and then I vomit violently even when there is nothing in my stomach left, something is regurgittated out.  Once this is done, I stop sweating and my heated body returns to normal, leaving me very weak and breathing slowly.

My period of rest may last for 30 minutes or it may last for an hour, and then it starts all over again.  I could have the dry heaves for an hour or so before I start vomiting.

This condition usually starts around noon on Sunday and by 7/8 pm I am taken to the emergency room where I remain for about an hour or two until I given an IV of ZOFRAN that IMMEDIATELY makes me feel better and all symptoms miraculously disappear.

Interestingly, my anti-nausea pills are Zofran as well but they must not be that strong.

After a year, I left my job because of integrity issues and returned to TN and my original Oncologist who was upset that I had been given this treatment.  A couple of years later, when I discovered I had contracted Melanoma, my research indicated that a high percentage of patients who are treated with Cytoxin and Fludara subsequently contract Melanoma.

Melanoma is a more serious disease than the type of Lymphoma I have...

What a pisser.

My Melanoma was cut off of the bottom of my left foot.  Then 4 and a half years later, it moved to my groin in mass and surgery was not an option because it was so extensive.  I was treated with Opdivo, Yervoy, and given radiation.  My radiation was a concentrated dosage in selected areas 6 times over a 6 week period of time.

The idea was that the radiation would supercharge the Opdivo and the Opdivo would transform my own cells into killer cells that woud attack and kill the Melanoma. 

IT WORKED...

My Melanoma in the groin was substantially reduced evidenced by a PET scan and when the Melanoma spread to my neck and was surgically removed and a sample sent to pathology...   all they found was dead Melanoma.

That recent surgery was June 2019...

Am I lucky?

Well, one could certainly say that I am lucky.
One could certainly say that the drugs worked.
One could certainly say that God is taking care of me.

I tend to believe all three...