Marriages Tested

Because I have no idea when my body is going to experience night sweats, I sleep on a mattress that is not only double sheeted but has another layer of covering just from my waist up that is tucked in around the mattress on top of the other two sheets.  When I twist and turn in the night, the upper layer moves around and sometimes gets crumpled up making it a tad uncomfortable to sleep unless it is spread back out again...  so, every time I am up peeing which is usually about 2-3 times each night, I simply straighten out this upper layer as a matter of routine.

This practice is not something one thinks about all the time, it's just an added activity because of the side effects of my cancer meds.

Another issue that one does not think about all the time or at least I do not is the fact that most of the time my sense of taste and smell is gone and I cannot really taste or smell the foods that I eat, making everything just seem sort of bland.  However, this sensation does come and go and when I can smell and taste, I find myself wanting to eat everything I have not been able to taste even if I am not hungry.

There is a daily awareness of weight gain, night sweats, general fatigue, and depression that accompanies that struggle or battle or journey that one continues to have with cancer.  Each day is a little uncomfortable even if there is no one around to whom it can be admitted or shared due to the "HERE WE GO AGAIN" response.

Spouses get tired of hearing what YOU are going through when THEY are going through something equally as combative...  and, it is difficult for a cancer patient to think about others, when all these side effects are influencing only your behavior.

MARRIAGES SUFFER if one spouse has cancer, even if there are no children present...  CHILDREN make the SUFFERING worse.