Since 2007, when first diagnosed with cancer my life has forever been changed and while I would not say for the worst or for the better, I would say that it has simply changed as I am no longer the man or person I was before that date... and, it is true that obviously I am older but not yet more wise, I still believe my persona has been forever changed.
And, it is true that we live in strange times and quite possibly more strange for those of us who are older, our country is changing right before our eyes just as my body has changed right before my eyes and there is nothing anyone can do to change either fact of life.
It is a strange feeling indeed to live with cancer(s) and to be told that you are living on borrowed time but I have always believed quite strongly that my time is not and has never been my own that my life has always been guided by some unseen force of life, not completely understood by me or others but there nonetheless... it is this force of life that has prevented me from becoming rich or ending up poor and it is this force of life that has guided my life from the moment I took my first breath. It is not necessarily a good or bad force nor is the force indifferent, it is however a force of life that compels without compelling and that moves without moving.
I am here on earth for as long as I am supposed to be on earth and I will do exactly that which I am supposed to do while I am here, believing that I still make my own decisions... it is just that events around me that are unknown to me at the time and in the future put me into a position to make the decisions that I do... and, while that seems a bit scary, it is still a truth that I believe very strongly.
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