A Constant Reminder

 My cancer journey began in 2007 and in 2008  I began having chemo treatments for non-Hodgkin's  Lymphoma (SLL/CLL) and in 2012 and probably a direct result of my treatment for Lymphoma, I contacted Melanoma (bottom of left foot) and in 2017 found that it had spread to my groin.  

After the fact, my Oncologist informed me that both my Melanoma as well as my Lymphoma had turned aggressive and that he was not sure that he would be able to stop or slow down the process.  It was almost like a HAIL MARY that he combined radiation treatments with Opdivo infusions while maintaining my daily Imbruvica pills.  The Cancer Team at UT Medical was not sure that he was doing the right course of action, but he stood his ground.

AMAZINGLY...  he proved to be right...

I also remember listening to the Surgical Oncologist who had removed the melanoma from my foot who told me that "I WAS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME," and that it was too dangerous to remove the cancer from my groin...  and, that the cancer was all over my body.

TODAY, both cancers are under control...  and every time I feel around my groin area, the dead cancer tissue is still there and is a constant reminder of what I went through.  These lumps are no longer worrisome but at one point-in-time they were.  I will live with these lumps for the rest of my life.

It Never ENDS...

In 2007, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's "B" Cell Lymphoma which is also referred to as SLL (Small Lymphocytic Lymphoma) and quite interestingly is treated the same way and considered to the be companion of CLL or Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.  Leukemia starts in the blood while Lymphoma starts in the lymph nodes...  it is also widely believed that SLL can turn into CLL at some point in time.

In 2012, I was diagnosed with braf negative acral lentiginous Melanoma in the foot which was surgically removed and later moved to the groin and then to the neck.  It is entirely possible that my Melanoma was contracted because of the drugs I was taking for my Lymphoma.

Over the past 13 years (2021 begins my 14th year) I have received:

1. 150+ chemo infusions
2. 60+ Hemoglobulin infusions
3. two surgeries
4. 6 radiation treatments
5. 20+ CT Scans
6. 20+ PET Scans
7. 2 MRI's
8. Immunotherapy 

In 2009/2010, I experienced a heart attack and underwent 3 heart surgeries to install stints rather than enduring a triple bypass.

For the rest of my life, I will have:

1. monthly chemo infusions
2. daily immunotherapy pills
3. 2 CT scans a year
4. 2 PET scans a year
5. 4 full body scans by a Dermatologist
6. quarterly visits to a Cardiologist
7. dealing with constant fatigue and nausea
8. dealing with intermittent night sweats
9. monthly hemoglobulin infusions
10. constant anemia
11. on-going anxiety attacks
12. a non-existent immune system
13. susceptibility to other diseases
14. the anxiety of my cancers turning aggressive

And...  while there may not be that much to report from one day to the day, the items listed above have a direct and cumulative effect/affect on one's state-of-mind which causes sporadic depression...  to mention this every day or even every week or monthly seems kind of REDUNDANT to say the least...  but, let me assure you that having cancer, especially the kind that cannot be cured, is NOT FUN AT ALL.