Almost 14 Years

Six months from now, I will be celebrating the 14th year passing since I was diagnosed with cancer...  and, five years into my treatment for non-Hodgkin's 'B' cell Lymphoma and probably because of certain treatments, I was diagnosed with Melanoma that subsequently moved from my foot to my groin to my neck where it was surgically removed and found to be dead because of my radiation and immunotherapy treatments.

After my two cancers were under control, my Oncologist informed me that he wasn't sure if he could stop them from growing because both of them had turned aggressive, but he stayed with the most recent protocols in fighting both cancers and did not back off on either one; consequently and fortunately, the two different types of treatments complemented each other and he was able to get both my cancers under control, at least for the time being.

I told my Oncologist that he should published his treatment of me and get some national credit, which he declined and said he was just fine with his life as it currently was.

Looking back at these 14 years, there were times where I was sicker than a dog and vomiting so consistently that my wife had to take me to the ER...  those were days that I would rather not relive under any circumstances unless I absolutely had to.

• Am I lucky?
• Did I have the right Oncologist?
• Was God looking out for me?

Ya know...  I think it was a little bit of all three...  but, to be quite honest with you (not to imply that I have not been), I have felt and continue to feel that there is something left for me to do...  and, that is why I am being kept alive.  I have no idea what it might be but I have spent my entire life preparing for it nonetheless.

Living with cancer is not as comfortable as one might think it is, especially if one is doing fine and feeling good, but there is a constant threat hanging over one's head as to what might happen...  if this...  or if that...

Plus, one must eat differently than others.  One must not drink alcohol if in very small quantities like a glass of wine once a week or once a month.  One must stay out of direct sunlight with UV clothes of the highest sunscreen.  One must get a good night's rest and one must learn to manage one's stress as it does have an impact.

I find myself eating lots of veges, onions, garlic, peppers, black beans, fruits, and other foods high in anti-oxidants.   I may have a hamburger and/or a hotdog once a year.  But, I may have a pizza every other month.

The killer of all cancers is a LOW IMMUNE SYSTEM and more people die of some other disease that they die of their cancer because of their low immune system.  For example, I would not have survived COVID.

The one thing that I do not get enough of is exercise but my fatigue which is minimal most of the time is still strong enough to provide me with the motivation to exercise...   even just walking around the community for 30 minutes would help.

Good Health Friday

My reports from the Oncologist are back and my blood works has improved, my red blood cells and white blood cells are still low below the norm, but my body seems to be dealing with the two types of immunotherapies that are being pushed into my body to fight Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and Melanoma.  My thyroid is not getting worse.  My nausea has all but disappeared.  My fatigue has all but disappeared as well.  I am on a routine of monthly IVIG which over a couple of months will assist in my improvements.  And, it appears that all my internal organs are functioning the way they should.  My sinus infections are gradually disappearing and the antibiotics are improving my facial skin infections.

I will continue to have a CT scan every three month but it will no longer be swapped out with a PET scan until some metabolic activity shows up on the CT scan...  The urgency there has been somewhat mitigated although it could worsen in time...  but, I don't think about that.

My heart monitor showed that I have no signs or any concern for afib returning so I am off of Xarelto and my bruise will begin to fade and my arms will look normal again.

My blotchy skin on my arms, face, neck, and shoulders is a sign that the drugs are killing the cancer and returning it to its normal pink color.

My cancer journey began in 2007 and in 2021 and after 13 years of treatment, I am beginning to show better than normal improvement, given where my Oncologist said I was 2 years ago from the standpoint that he was not sure he could stop what was happening to me.  At the end of 2021, I will end my 14th year and begin my 15th year...

Time flies when you are having fun...

Unanticipated Controversy

Fourteen years ago, my wife and I purchased an above ground pool along with a Hot Springs Prodigy Spa or Hot Tub...  a year or so later, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's "B" Cell Lymphoma and a year or so after that, I experienced a rather serious heart attack that caused the surgeons to want to perform a triple bypass...  a second recommendation and I was left with the option of installing 5 stents instead.  A couple of years after that, I was diagnosed with Melanoma that later moved to my groin and and a sentinel biopsy was perform resulting in the removal of lymph nodes and my left leg experience lymphedema...

All of these conditions are not necessarily conducive to spending time in a Hot Tub, let alone spending in a Hot Tub several times a week...  and yet, that is exactly what I have been doing for the last 14 years.  Oddly enough, my time in the hot tub does not seem to be adversely effecting any of my conditions...  at least not yet...   but, with that said, I am not spending as much time in the hot tub as I used to spend.  And, when the weather gets warm, I turn the temp down from 104 to 98 or 95...  I still get the benefits of a heated massage.

However, one issue that I did not anticipate was the fact that as I age, it gets more and more difficult for me to lift my leg over the side of the hot tub in order to lift and pull my body inside...  and,  it is increasingly more difficult for me to reverse the procedure when extricating myself out of the hot tub.  

I have built myself a little bench, but I have it too high, so I need to cut it in half or possibly more than that in order for it to become a helpful too/aid.

Over Thirteen Years and Counting

 

Except for the one year spent in KY where my Oncologist there prescribed the chemo drugs that made me violently sick two days after my infusions, lasting for another two day, my treatments since 2007 have been rather uneventful and have only caused me nausea, extreme fatigue, 30-50 pounds of  weight gain, no immunity from other diseases, and a damaged thyroid.  I would say that is pretty damn good for thirteen years of ongoing treatment that has included:

• Chemotherapy
• Surgery
• Radiation
• Immunotherapy

My hair never fell out, although I have been losing my hair since I was 21 years old.  My eyesight never deteriorated. My internal organs like my heart, liver, kidneys, and lungs were never damaged from the extended intake of infused toxins into my body.

Needless to say, I am glad that I am no longer vomiting all the time for two days straight ever month, but I am wondering if experiencing constant fatigue is just as bad if not worse...  especially for someone who has been physically active for their entire life or at least up until the age of 60.

Still, my life has forever been changed by my battle against two cancers.  I can no longer spend as much time in the sun as I want to spend without wearing long sleeve UV shirts and pants or a great deal of high UV protection sun screen...  and the clothing is by far the better choice.  I also have to watch what I eat as certain foods encourage the growths of cancers.

One out of every five Americans will contract some form of cancer during their lifetimes and I don't wish that experience on anyone.

A Good Day

The middle of May 2020 will be looked back upon as a transition point for my change of health conditions which could alter in a heartbeat, but this has definitely been a transition month for the better.

First, my Cardiologist, after wearing a heart monitor for a month, said I no longer had to take Xarelto, the super duper blood thinner.  So now, my arms will no longer show the blue and black tattoo bruises that have been so obvious recently.

Second, my Dermatologist put me on an antibiotic that is dealing rather well with my skin infection that was present on my face, little welts that itched and when scratched bled real bad and turned the area around the welt a dark shade of red, but not really a bruise.  

My Oncologist sent through an order for monthly IVIG infusions, so within a couple of four months with these and my sinus infections should stop and it should also help with my skin infections and perhaps I can stop taking the antibiotic.

My ongoing cancer treatments for Lymphoma and Opdivo seem to continue to be working in that there is no metabolic activity present with either cancer which is a very good sign and it is hoped that this will continue to be the case.

My weight is down 30 pounds largely due to three factors:

1. I am counting and reducing my calorie intake
2. My staph infection and loss of appetite
3. My colon cleanse for my colonoscopy

And...  while I am still about 20 pounds over-weight I still feel a lot better physically not that I have shed 30 pounds.

My constant fatigue has almost disappeared and has become intermittent and my daily nausea has disappeared as there have been no signs of that for weeks.  My appetite has returned but I do not feel constantly hungry.

My diet is totally focused on fish, chicken, beans, and vegetables with heavy doses of onion, bell peppers, mushrooms, and garlic, along with eggs, oatmeal, non-processed cheeses, whole wheat breads.

My sleep habits are uninterrupted and I no longer feel the need to take afternoon naps nor do I wake up still feeling sleepy after sleeping for 8-10 hours.

These are all good signs for a person of 73 years of age.

A Constant Reminder

 My cancer journey began in 2007 and in 2008  I began having chemo treatments for non-Hodgkin's  Lymphoma (SLL/CLL) and in 2012 and probably a direct result of my treatment for Lymphoma, I contacted Melanoma (bottom of left foot) and in 2017 found that it had spread to my groin.  

After the fact, my Oncologist informed me that both my Melanoma as well as my Lymphoma had turned aggressive and that he was not sure that he would be able to stop or slow down the process.  It was almost like a HAIL MARY that he combined radiation treatments with Opdivo infusions while maintaining my daily Imbruvica pills.  The Cancer Team at UT Medical was not sure that he was doing the right course of action, but he stood his ground.

AMAZINGLY...  he proved to be right...

I also remember listening to the Surgical Oncologist who had removed the melanoma from my foot who told me that "I WAS LIVING ON BORROWED TIME," and that it was too dangerous to remove the cancer from my groin...  and, that the cancer was all over my body.

TODAY, both cancers are under control...  and every time I feel around my groin area, the dead cancer tissue is still there and is a constant reminder of what I went through.  These lumps are no longer worrisome but at one point-in-time they were.  I will live with these lumps for the rest of my life.

Normal Again: Whatever that is

After several days of staying inside, plus cooler temperatures, and elevating my feet, my left foot and ankle has for the most part returned to normal...  as I can clearly see again the veins on the top of my foot and the swelling is just barely noticeable.  As with every other experience, I learn that when riding in the car for two hours or more and regardless of how I try to extend my left leg, I am simply going to need to wear a compression stocking.  

These stockings are easy to find in Drug Stores even though they are less than medical grade, they still provide adequate compression.  I had purchased a medical grade compression stocking at the very beginning of my ordeal...  that is to say after foot surgery to remove a melanoma in 2013...  and, when the leg did not swell as much as was anticipated by the Surgical Oncologist, I was informed only to wear the stocking as needed.

We were all under the impression at that time my melanoma was gone, but in 2017 it returned in my groin area with a vengeance and obvious bias against my body...  I started infusions of Opdivo and Yervoy and a year later my Oncologist suggested that I undergo radiation treatments that would be accompanied by on Opdivo treatments as the radiation was inclined to supercharge the Opdivo...  the concept worked perfectly in my body but my Lymphedema remained.

At one point I thought my days in the Hot Tub were over but after submerging myself in the hot liquids for 30-40 minutes, my left leg show no signs of swelling, so I continued my ritual of hot water relaxation unless I noticed swelling which was typically caused now by too much sitting without legs elevated.

Too Much Time Sitting

 My wife and I just got back from spending 6 days in Destin, Florida and were able to sit in lounge chairs under an umbrella and watch the waters of the Gulf of Mexico crash into our southern borders.

It took 8.5 hours of drive time to reach Destin from our East TN home plus some additional time sitting in the car or moving slow because of construction, traffic, or an accident so each leg of our driving took about 10 hours to get down there and about 10 hours to get back.

About 8 years ago I had foot surgery to remove a melanoma tumor from the bottom of my left foot and in the process, the surgical oncologist also removed 3 lymph nodes from my groin that had tested positive for cancer as a result of a sentinel node biopsy being performed before the surgery.  Consequently, I experience lymphedema in my left leg which under normal circumstances is very manageable and does not require me using a compression stocking even when I spend every other night in the hot tub for 45 minutes.

However, when I drive long distances or fly in an airplane over two hours at a time, my left leg, around the foot and the ankle swell.  I usually remember to wear a compression stocking when flying but forgot to wear one in our drive to and from Destin.

Now that I am back home, my left lower leg is again swollen from our journey in the car and it will take several days for it to return to normal.  My concern is that one day after forgetting to wear a compression stocking my left leg swells and will not return to normal...  once this happens, my entire lifestyle will change.

Once we arrived at Destin, my left leg did return to normal after a couple of days...  so, I am hoping the same thing will happen now that we have returned home.

Back Home

My early morning visit with the Oncologist had me back home before NOON toady with good news...  There has been NO PROGRESSION of my two cancers and a lesion on my lung has actually disappeared which is good.  The lesion on my liver is benign and seems to be a collection of blood vessels so there is no need to do a follow up MRI unless it starts increasing in size and it is doubtful that it will increase but one never knows.

My blood work continued to show that I am anemic, have a low immune system because of a low white blood count, and my platelets continue to be about 2/3 of what they should be...  so, basically I have remained consistent month-after-month for the last two years...  and, because of all the infections that I have been experiencing, my Oncologist wants me to receive monthly IVIG treatments and since it is too late for anything this month, and since I have a treatment scheduled for May, my monthly treatment will begin in June...

All-in-all, it was a good report.

What was really encouraging was the fact that apparently my gastrointestinal doctor sent my colonoscopy results (which included his concerns about a lesion on my liver) to my family doctor who in turn had corresponded with my Oncologist about those concerns...  and now, my Oncologist will follow up with my family doctor to let him know that the lesion on my liver is a benign collection of blood vessels...

I like it when the system works and doctors are interlinked and actually correspond with each other in order to ensure positive patient outcomes.

T. G. I. F.

After 13 years of cancer treatments for non-Hodgkin's "B" Cell Lymphoma with 6 years on concurrent treatment for Metastatic Melanoma (Braf negative) along with6 treatments of concentrated radiation, my overall health is good to excellent but I continue to deal with FATIGUE that leaves me with the mentality of not really wanting to do anything... even though there are many things that I need to do, now that the weather has improved...

There are all sorts of projects outside the house that need to be accomplished on a regular basis like mowing the yard and weed eating along with other activities that include transforming flower beds into grass areas, putting down mulch, building up the rock areas around the house, securing the water hoses so that they do not leak, staining the deck boards that were put in last year, and other little maintenance projects which involve wear and tear around the outside of the house.

My FATUGUE stands in the way of these projects and I need to force myself to take action and/or the initiative to get the project started.  Each of these projects will be worked on just a little each day but the fact remains that I needed to get started.

Staying Stable

My IVIG infusion will give me a boost for about 3 weeks before it starts to wear off...  so, what does that mean exactly?

For me,

• I sleep better
• My appetite is suppressed
• My energy level is high
• My fatigue lessens
• an end of sinus infections
• I am more active

My Oncologist wants me to receive IVIG infusions every month instead of every other month which would result in me feeling pretty darn good all the time.  And, if one feels good then one is also emotionally healthy as well which then leads to having good psychological health.   This is important, at least for me because having Lymphoma and Melanoma simultaneously means that at some point-in-time there is always the possibility that either one of these cancers or both could turn AGGRESSIVE at any time putting me in a critical health situation and threaten my life.

It Never ENDS...

In 2007, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's "B" Cell Lymphoma which is also referred to as SLL (Small Lymphocytic Lymphoma) and quite interestingly is treated the same way and considered to the be companion of CLL or Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.  Leukemia starts in the blood while Lymphoma starts in the lymph nodes...  it is also widely believed that SLL can turn into CLL at some point in time.

In 2012, I was diagnosed with braf negative acral lentiginous Melanoma in the foot which was surgically removed and later moved to the groin and then to the neck.  It is entirely possible that my Melanoma was contracted because of the drugs I was taking for my Lymphoma.

Over the past 13 years (2021 begins my 14th year) I have received:

1. 150+ chemo infusions
2. 60+ Hemoglobulin infusions
3. two surgeries
4. 6 radiation treatments
5. 20+ CT Scans
6. 20+ PET Scans
7. 2 MRI's
8. Immunotherapy 

In 2009/2010, I experienced a heart attack and underwent 3 heart surgeries to install stints rather than enduring a triple bypass.

For the rest of my life, I will have:

1. monthly chemo infusions
2. daily immunotherapy pills
3. 2 CT scans a year
4. 2 PET scans a year
5. 4 full body scans by a Dermatologist
6. quarterly visits to a Cardiologist
7. dealing with constant fatigue and nausea
8. dealing with intermittent night sweats
9. monthly hemoglobulin infusions
10. constant anemia
11. on-going anxiety attacks
12. a non-existent immune system
13. susceptibility to other diseases
14. the anxiety of my cancers turning aggressive

And...  while there may not be that much to report from one day to the day, the items listed above have a direct and cumulative effect/affect on one's state-of-mind which causes sporadic depression...  to mention this every day or even every week or monthly seems kind of REDUNDANT to say the least...  but, let me assure you that having cancer, especially the kind that cannot be cured, is NOT FUN AT ALL.

Cancer Survivor

In 2007, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's "B" cell Lymphoma or SLL...   according to the National Cancer Institute about SLL/CLL:  An indolent (slow-growing) cancer in which immature lymphocytes (white blood cells) are found in the blood and bone marrow and/or in the lymph nodes. CLL (chronic lymphocytic leukemia) and SLL (small lymphocytic lymphoma) are the same disease, but in CLL cancer cells are found mostly in the blood and bone marrow. In SLL cancer cells are found mostly in the lymph nodes. CLL/SLL is a type of non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Also called chronic lymphocytic leukemia/small lymphocytic lymphoma.

In 2008, I began treatment with Rituxan....  and, added later was Fludara and Cytoxin which made me incredibly sick to the point that a couple of days after treatment, I was in he ER in the hopes of stopping my vomiting.  This lasted for 6 months.  Triandra replaced Rituxan.

In 2012/2013, I was diagnosed with Melanoma on the bottom of my left foot.  It was surgically removed but no follow-up treatment took place.  Four years later, the Melanoma spread to my groin and eventually to my neck.  I was treated with a cocktail of Opidvo/Yervoy and a few months later I stopped the Yervoy because it was replaced with RADIATION.

As far as my non-Hodgkin's "B" cell Lymphoma (CLL/SLL) was concerned, I stopped infusions and began taking pills:  IMBRUVICA which had out-of-pocket costs but I was able to get a grant to pay for those expenses.

During these 12/13 years of my cancer treatments, I was also going to a Dermatologist to have squamous carcinomas removed that were also byproducts of my cancer treatments.  To date, there have been 6 of these removed, including a rather large on from the top of my head.

CURRENTLY there has been no metabolic activity detected from either cancer even though my treatments for both cancers continue and will continue indefinitely as I have been told by my Oncologist.

I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR...

I Have Watched Myself Grow Old

Ever since 1990, when I moved to TN from NC at the age of 43, I have been aware of myself physically and mentally rather than via instincts and have, for the last 30 years, watched myself grow old...  older and older each day...  each week...  each month...  each year...  each decade...  and, the aging process is not always that pretty or welcomed.  I lost my closest friend along the way who died of colon cancer in his 60's and my other closest friendship was ended when I decided to have my taxes prepared locally.  Losing friends is not so easy...  and, making new ones is harder than one might expect...  so, for the last 30 years, my friends have been my co-workers and/or the friends that my wife brought into this marriage...  who would not really be my friends any longer if we were ever to divorce...

So...  from age 43-60, there was hardly any aging process at all...  at least none that I could detect.  I was eating healthy, sleeping appropriately, never got sick, never got the flu, and my wife and I were fast walking 5 miles a day around our community (so it was not always flat) and the healthy eating included hardly ever any red meat, no fried foods, minimal sugars and/or sweets, minimal alcohol, and mostly fruits and vegetables...

My blood pressure was low and my cholesterol was low (both the good and the bad) and the only issue that could have bothered me during those 17 years of relative BLISS was the amount of STRESS that I encountered each day.  My career had taken off in that I was working 60+ hour weeks and bring work home on the weekends...  and, it was not because my bosses demanded that amount of time but because I wanted to give it or that I felt like my job needed it as I always went above and beyond.

AT THE AGE OF 60...  my world turned to shit...  not literally but figuratively or metaphorically I suppose would be better because my world of health turned upside down...  I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma (SLL) and started treatment in 2008.  In 2009, it was discovered that I had experienced a heart attack while walking on the treadmill and exploratory surgery indicated that I needed a triple bypass.

My LAD (the widow maker) was blocked 100% and two other arteries on the left side of my heart were both blocked 90%.  Instead of having a bypass, I had my arteries cleaned out and stints inserted that took 3 operations in 2009 and 2010.  There procedures were performed at Presbyterian Hospital in NYC.  My Cardiologist said that because I was so damn healthy that my body created its own bypass by created dozens of vessels to transport blood which is what actually saved my life.

In 2012, Melanoma appeared on the bottom of my left foot probably brought by some of the drugs used for my chemo treatments and after being surgically removed reappeared in force in 2017 which resulted in me receiving radiation treatments.  Fatigue and nausea were my daily routine until my doctors discovered that my Thyroid was out of whack due to my chemo treatments.  And, while the fatigue and nausea have almost disappeared, they are lurking just around the corner I fear.

A prostate biopsy in 2020 left me with negative results but a high PSA puts me in a situation where I will be monitored often from now on...  And, because I had several polyps removed in a 2018 colonoscopy, my new routine for that procedure is now every 2 years instead of 5 or 10...  with my next one being scheduled for January 2021.

One would think that this would be enough, but the past July I was admitted to the ER with a Staph infection in my blood and because of afib, heart failure, kidney failure, and a blood pressure of 79/59, I was admitted to the hospital for 6 days.  Now my Cardiologist has informed me that once one has experienced afib, it will be with them for the rest of their lives.

My last PET scan that showed no metabolic activity in either of my cancers revealed that I have a tumor in one of my lungs that is just a few CM's in length (too small to biopsy) and I am scheduled for another CT scan in a couple of weeks to see if it has grown.

Because of all the chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and radiation my body virtually has no immune system and is experiencing anemia...  so, every other month, I am now receiving an infusion of IVIG which is supposed to help supplement what the treatments have taken away...  but, I am still susceptible to catching almost any other disease...  especially COVID...  and, that scare has kept me in the house unless I have to leave for any doctor's appointment...  but, when I do, I ALWAYS WEAR A MASK...

For 17 years I did everything right and was a model of physical health, exercise, and eating habits, but that made no difference at all...  and, while I am not angry or feel wrong for what I did, I still don't really understand why it happened to me and not someone else...  especially that someone who does not take care of themselves like I did.

Today, except for some major and minor adjustment, I feel pretty good about myself and my health and if you were to see me on the street, you would not suspect that I had a serious heart attack and had been receiving cancer treatments for 13 years.

Always Something

If you recall, my cancer was first diagnosed when I was 60 some 13 years ago and there is a good probability that because of all the various chemo regimes through which I went, one of them caused me to contract a second cancer of Melanoma that traveled from the bottom of my left foot to my left groin area in just under 5 years.  And, it is because of this migration that I was given radiation along with an immunotherapy of Opdivo which seems to have substantially reduced it and actually killed a bunch of it.

It is difficult to ascertain whether the dead cells are Lymphoma or Melanoma because they are a combination of both and the only way to be sure is to perform a biopsy which if they are dead seems rather irrelevant.  However, whenever I lay down on my back and feel around the left side of my groin, I can feel the lumps of dead tissue there that will never disappear and be constant reminders of what I have endured with my cancers.

Every day I take two pills for my Lymphoma and every day I take medication for my Thyroid because it was damaged by my cancer treatments.  Every month I have an infusion to control my Melanoma and every other month, I have an infusion of IVIG to help boost my low immunity and improve my anemia.  Every 3 months, I have alternative CT and PET scans to see if my cancers are still under control and every 3 months I have a full naked body exam by a dermatologist to see if my continued cancer treatments are creating any new skin cancers which is often the case as I have had half a dozen removed since this process was started.  AND...  every three years now because of my cancer treatments, I have a colonoscopy because my treatments could trigger cancer there.

Next month, I have a special CT scan to see if the tumor in my lungs has grown large enough so that a biopsy can be performed.

When one is living with cancer...  there is always something.

My Declining Life

 At the age of 25, our cells stop regenerating 

and start dying...

SO...  I have already been dying for 47 almost 48 years...  and if it is God's Will, I will continue dying for another 20 to 25 years... or until I am 98 years old...

At the age of 60, I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's "B" Cell Small Lymphocytic Lymphoma (SLL) and 2 years later I experienced a severe heart attack that I did not feel while walking on the treadmill except for a sharp pain in my chest.  I tried to duplicate that pain by walking as fast as I could on an empty stomach on the sand at Myrtle Beach but it did

not happen.  An exploratory heart surgery a few months later revealed that I had 3 blocked arteries:  LAD 100% and two other left side arteries 90% each.  It was recommended that I have a triple bypass but I found a cardiac surgeon at NY Presbyterian Hospital who cleaned out my arteries and inserted 5 stints by performing 3 surgeries over a 12 month period of time.

At the age of 67 and probably because of my Lymphoma chemo treatment, I was diagnosed with Melanoma and it was surgically removed with  ABSOLUTELY NO follow-up treatment at all which was the PROTOCOL for the stage of my Melanoma.  Almost 5 years later, my Melanoma migrated from my foot to my groin and later to my neck. 

Shortly after this second diagnosis, I was taking a cocktail of 2 drugs that eventually led to dropping one of those drugs and replacing it with 6 doses of concentrated and strong radiation.

At the age of 72, it was discovered that I had a hyperthyroid which was causing most, if not all, of the side effects that I had been attributing to my cancer(s) treatment.  It was also discovered that my PSA numbers had double and have been seeing a Urologist who is considering performing a biopsy of my prostate.

It would appear that old age and cancer has been trying to hasten my dying process...

Keeping the Faith for Over A Decade

ODYSSEY is a Greek epic poem written by Homer (a poet) about the long journey of a man named Odysseus (Greek King of Ithaca), or a long and eventual journey or experience...

My journey/experience has lasted almost 13 full years and while this journey started with one cancer:  non-Hodgkin's "B" cell Lymphoma, treatments for that cancer resulted in me having to remove 4 Squamous Cell Carcinomas on my upper body and a Melanoma off the bottom of my foot as well as upsetting the balance of my Thyroid.  Interestingly, surgery did not prevent my Melanoma from aggressively returning.  

My body, over the 12+ years, has suffered bouts with nausea, violent vomiting, constant and extreme fatigue, as well as the stress of weight gain (due to steroids) and the anxieties associated with my cancers becoming aggressive and unstoppable.What has been the most traumatic is not the nausea and vomiting because they can be offset or stopped with drugs and/or visits to the ER if necessary which is what I had to do several time; but the constant and extreme fatigue...  pills WILL NOT STOP fatigue from taking place...  Once fatigue starts, it NEVER leaves...  HOWEVER, recently it appears that my body has finally come to terms with its fatigue and is no longer (at least temporarily) present to the extent that I do not want to do anything.

WILL EVERYONE experience what I experienced?  Maybe or Maybe Not, the experience could be the same, no as bad, or worse...  each individual is different...  Last year, radiation was used with Opdivo infusions to KILL THE MELANOMA and it worked whereas in some individuals under similar circumstances, the combination has not worked.

Forgot to Mention

A couple of years ago, I had 6 doses of unusually high radiation over a 4 month period to combine with Opdivo and quickly kill my Melanoma...  at least, those were the results of the clinical trials held at MD Anderson in Texas.  Each dose lasted 20 minutes and I had one each week for 3 weeks.  After a period of 3 months, 3 more doses were administered to me in the same format and after another week, I underwent a PET/CT scan especially designed for Melanoma staging.  My Melanoma had been SUBSTANTIALLY BEEN REDUCED and an interested and very positive result was the fact that my non-Hodgkin's "B" cell Lymphoma had been SUBSTANTIALLY REDUCED as well.

Once the OPDIVO was supercharged by the radiation, no more radiation treatment were required and the reductions of both the Melanoma and Lymphoma continued to take place.  My body was demonstrating exactly how the treatments were supposed to work which made me feel WONDERFUL to say the least.

A year later, there is still some minor reductions in both cancers, but DEAD TISSUE can be felt in my groin at the crease of the upper thigh.  There are numerous lumps of various diameters just below the surface that will remain there for the rest of my life...   they will never disappear unfortunately.  Right now, I can feel them with my fingers and feel them without my fingers when I have sat in a chair for an extended period of time like when watching a movie.

Sometimes, it just feels mentally odd that there is DEAD MELANOMA in my groin.

Life In The Middle

Life in the Middle of what?


Oftentimes, over the last 12 years, I have perceived myself as being healthy or unhealthy, not necessarily because of exercise and/or eating healthy foods but because of my heart and cancer issues.


I have not really considered myself healthy or not healthy and yet I am both.


What brings this to my attention is every month when I go to the Cancer Center for treatment, I am always asked questions about by health because I look so healthy and when I inform them that I have been getting treatment for over 12 years, they are utterly amazed and look at me as if I am not telling them the truth,

On the other side of the coin:

• Some days, I feel wonderful
• Some days, I feel lousy 
• Some days, I feel nauseous
• Some days, I don't feel nauseous
• Some days, I feel fatigued
• Some days, I don't feel fatigued

It is like I do not belong in any one category.

For example:

When I had my severe heart attack, my Cardiologist said there was absolutely no reason for it

Non-Hodgkin's "B" Cell Lymphoma put me in one cancer group

Metastatic Melanoma put me in another cancer group

Thyroid issues now puts me in another group with/without cancer(s)

If there is Prostate Cancer discovered, I will be in yet another group

I cannot get into any cancer clinical trials because I have 2 cancers, not just 1

Living With Cancer

If I remember correctly, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's "B" cell Lymphoma in 2007 but my treatments did not start until 2008 for some reason because they had to watch it for 6 months...  sounds crazy but that was the protocol then.  So, as 2020 began 3 months ago, I had just entered my 13th year of treatment.

And, about 5 years into my treatment and after receiving some high powered chemo toxins, it was discovered (quite by accident) that I had Melonoma on the bottom of my left foot after first thinking it was a wart and having it cut off twice.  The Melanoma tumor was surgically removed and because of the skill of the surgeon, I did not lose any toes in the process.   And, since there was no protocols in place for a tumor that small and in the early stages, I received no
follow-up chemo treatments or radiation.  FOUR and a half years later, the Melanoma can back very aggressively in my groin and because of its extensiveness, could not be surgically removed this time.

Treatment for Melanoma was instituted and even though there was some disagreements between my Oncologist and his colleagues, my non-Hodgkin's "B" cell Lymphoma treatment continued not knowing if the two treatments would cancel each other out or not.  Radiation in my groin was added about 9 months later.

Well...  and, much to everyone's surprise ALL THREE TREATMENTS WORKED IN HARMONY and my cancers with both substantially reduced as was the indication of a PET/CT scan three months later.

ALL-IN-ALL and over the course of 12 years, I have had regular chemo, wicked chemo, surgery, radiation, IVIG treatment, Immunotherapy treatments and pills....   and, one would think that my body would have been RAVAGED by all this medical abuse.  AND, while I have been extremely sick and had to go to the ER six times to stop vomiting every hour or so, my body has been magically or spiritually resilient.

I have had 3-4 squamous cell carcinomas surgically removed that were typical side effects of the chemo, but NO HAIR HAS FALLEN OUT on the top of my head except that which was supposed to fall out because of my family predispositions.  While not hair has fallen out, my body has gained 30 pounds as a result of over 150 infusions that are always and only given after receiving premeds that are loaded with STEROIDS to prevent/reduce nausea.  It is difficult to lose steroid induced weight gain.


My skin has lost some of its pink pigment making it look like my arms and neck were slightly burned in a fire but other than that, I have more-or-less felt pretty good for the last 12 years, except for daily then intermittent nausea that was EASILY eliminated with pills...   so, it represented only minor inconvenience that is to say...  looking back.

With that said, let me say that for the last THREE YEARS, I have had to deal with chronic fatigue which has been a BITCH to live with, but recently even that has begun to disappear as I believe my body is finally adjusting to the problem...  consequently, I have begun exercising again.

How long with this last?

I have no idea...

ONE DAY AT A TIME, is my new lifestyle...  as I begin to learn what this new pill for my THYROID issues is going to do to me.