Easter Sunday

Easter refers to Easter Sunday which is the day the resurrection of Jesus is remembered. Good Friday commemorates the day that Jesus Christ was crucified on a cross. ... Easter is preceded by 40 days of fasting, and Good Friday and Easter Sunday are marked by church services full of meaning and importance.

There is a lot speculation as to the day of Jesus' death and the time of his death.   Religious scholars believe that the day of his death was Friday and the time of his death was sometime between 3:00 and 4:00 pm.

And...  we do not know what year Jesus died although we know that Pilate was Prefect in Judea Sumaria 26 A.D. through 36 A.D.

So, now we must look at when did Passover take place during the year of his death...   Using all the historical data of Jewish dates and Gospel passages from the Bible, we have 2 theories:

Theory 1  -  Jesus died in 30 A.D.

Theory 2  -  Jesus died in 33 A.D.

What about his resurrections?

"By our modern method of counting days, Jesus would have been in His tomb from late Friday afternoon until early Sunday morning. Even counting Friday and Sunday as full days, that would mean He was interred for three days and two nights at most. This is important because in Matthew 12 Jesus specifies that His resurrection in three days and three nights will be the only sign that He is the Messiah."    

Source:  allaboutjesuschrist.org

Why aren't these discrepancies shared with Church Congregations as part of our religious experiences, growth and development of our belief and faith?

Editorial Comment:  My faith...  My belief...  My Religious Strength is predicated upon my complete understanding of the Bible, its stories, and the credibility of those stories...  just because there are discrepancies is not an indication that these stories are not true...  but, hiding these stories from the congregation of believers is wrong and inappropriate and makes me wonder what else are they hiding...

Radiation Treatment

Happy Easter

Through Another Lens

A couple of days ago, I talked with my new Urologist about potential prostate cancer via video conference (like Skype I suppose) and while our sound did not work as was intended, we talked to each other on the telephone.  Interestingly, he said that of his 6 video calls that week, he experienced audio problems with 5 of them.

Our meeting lasted about 12-15 minutes and he patiently described the situation about having a high PSA number of 8+ as not being that alarming since it had only happened once, especially since I was not experience the other, more traditional, symptoms of prostate cancer.  He wanted to do another blood test in a couple of months to see if the PSA increased/decreased or stayed the same.

The next step was to do a biopsy of the prostate but because of COVID-19, no biopsies were being performed unless the patient had a PSA of 15 or higher.

He reassured me that prostate cancer was slow growing and since this was my first high PSA that there was nothing to worry about, since it was very early in the process and especially since prostate cancer typically was slow growing.  He also answered my question with a NO that there was no connection between prostate cancer and either Lymphoma or Melanoma; although there had been some evidence that treatment for Melanoma had helped prostate cancer patients.

What I liked about this video conference was that I did not have to leave my house and my first thought was that this is the way it should be normally for all FIRST TIME visits to keep patients from driving to the office and spending time with others in a waiting room for 60 minutes or so...   Perhaps, some follow-up visits could happen like this as well.

HOPEFULLY, this corona virus will change how we conduct future healthcare in this country.

About Prostate Cancer

COMFORT FOOD

What exactly is comfort food?

According to Wikipedia: 

"Comfort food is food that provides a nostalgic or sentimental value to someone, and may be characterized by its high caloric nature, high carbohydrate level, or simple preparation. The nostalgia may be specific to an individual, or it may apply to a specific culture."

American comfort foods may include the following foods:
Apple pie
Biscuits and gravy
Cake
Casseroles
Chicken and dumplings
Chicken fried steak
Chicken soup
Chili
Chili mac
Chocolate chip cookies
Chowders:

Clam chowder,

Shrimp chowder, 

Corn chowder,
Corned beef and cabbage
Cornbread
French fries
Fried chicken
Green bean casserole

Cupcakes
Grilled cheese sandwich
tomato soup
Grits
Ice cream
Lasagna
Macaroni and cheese
Mashed potatoes
Meatloaf
Peanut butter
Pizza
Pepperoni rolls
Red beans and rice

Tamale pie
Tuna casserole

ISOLATION

What is the psychological impact of isolation?

There is substantial evidence linking perceived social isolation with adverse health consequences including depression, poor sleep quality, impaired executive function, accelerated cognitive decline, poor cardiovascular function and impaired immunity at every stage of life.

Yet, this is exactly what we must do and continue to do for 1-2 more months.

Isolation Has Profound Effects on The Human Body And Brain. Here's What Happens...

SARITA ROBINSON, THE CONVERSATION
3 FEBRUARY 2019

Imagine being confined to a small, dark room, with no social interaction whatsoever for 30 days. Not many people would jump at this opportunity.

But, in November 2018, a professional US poker player Rich Alati bet US$100,000 that he could survive 30 days alone and in total darkness.

He was kept in a small, completely dark room with nothing but a bed, fridge and bathroom. Even with all the resources he needed to survive, Alati couldn't last the month. After 20 days he negotiated his release, taking a payout of US$62,400.

There are countless negative effects that social isolation and extreme isolation can have on our minds and bodies. Alati was no exception, reporting that he experienced a range of side effects, including changes to his sleep cycle, and hallucinations.

But why is isolation so difficult for humans to withstand?

One of the reasons that living in isolation is difficult is because humans are social creatures. Many people that have lived in isolated environments – such as researchers stationed in Antarctica – report that loneliness can be the most difficult part of the job.

Yossi Ghinsberg, an Israeli adventurer and author who survived weeks alone in the Amazon, said that loneliness was what he suffered from most and that he had created imaginary friends to keep himself company.

Loneliness can be damaging to both our mental and physical health. Socially isolated people are less able to deal with stressful situations.                                 

Read Complete Article

End of the week

Being retired, it is not easy to think about days of the week versus days of the weekend as all days seems to merge together...  but for me, I am aware of each day in that does this day leave me with intense side effects of my cancer treatments or does this day provide me with a break from those side effects?

Extreme Fatigue is what I usually experience each day and it usually sits there and barks at me like a dog needing attention as soon as I wake up in the mornings.

Today, my fatigue experience is not barking at me but waiting for me like a patient cat waits to be patted...  by rubbing their bodies against the legs of their owners...

Of course, in my case that might not be a good example because my Siamese howls at me as he rubs his body making sure that I know it is him...  there is nothing patient or quiet about him.

Today, I feel rested...
my eyes do not hurt...
my muscles do not ache...
my sinuses are not draining...
my ankles are not swollen at all...

I have no idea how long this condition is going to last if it lasts at all but I plan to enjoy it while it is here...

Anatomy of Cancer

Importance of Family

One of the most important aspects of my successfully surviving cancer outside of the monthly treatment regimens is the fact that I have a spouse that REFUSES to let me get worse and pushes me constantly to get involved in other things, leaving me little time to think about my cancers.

Why is this so important to me?

Because, I have no network of support other than my spouse...  pure and simple...

Is this my fault regarding the lack of a support network?

I suppose it is but there was absolutely no one with whom I trusted enough to be friends and as sad as that my sound, it is true.  Throughout my 72 years of life, I have only had two REAL FRIENDS and one them died about 10 years ago from colon cancer...  He was my oldest and deadest, having met in the 3rd grade.

My second friend is a couple years older than me and lives in another State and I believe over the last two decades we have gradually grown apart and it has gotten to the point where we do not stay in touch at all.

C'est la vie...   as the French say.

Both my parents are dead, so there is no support there.
My 47 year old daughter lives in China and we rarely communicate.
My brother and sister live in different States and we have no desire to communicate either.

Since I do not believe in institutionalized religion, I have no minister/pastor with whom to share confidences or ask for advice.  This is not to say that I do not have faith because I do and my faith is strong, and it is God, not my wife, who has given me the will, the strength, and the desire to live in spite of the cancers inside my body.

God controls my fate, my life, and my death.

While I wish that I had a more supportive family arrangement, I am confident that my spouse and God are all that I really need.

My family does not just consist of my wife, but we have 3 cats that provide me with love and attention, especially the Siamese who, for some reason, decided to bond with me when he first arrived.

All three of these cats, without fail, wake us up in the mornings by jumping on the bed, gradually raising their voices until we acknowledge them...  and, if we shut the bedroom door, they congregate outside the door, acting the same way until we open the door and let them in.  And, while cats are supposed to be aloof and independent, these cats behave just the opposite and spend more time with us than away from us.

T R U S T & T R U T H

With my cancer condition, it is imperative that I have Trust & Truth in EVERYTHING with which I must interact on a regular or irregular basis.

For example, if I were to go to a restaurant, fly on an airline, rent a motel room, or book passage on a cruise ship, I must feel SAFE, in that:

1. Has the restaurant been properly cleaned?
2. Will the airline crew protect my healthcare?
3. Has the motel room been properly sanitized?
4. Does the ship carry the proper medical supplies?
5. Did the prior occupant take appropriate precautions?

 This 5th point is probably the most critical.

I seriously doubt that, given what I have witnessed here in the USA and overseas that people don't really take any healthcare scare seriously.

I also seriously doubt that our leaders are telling us the truth.

COVID-19 has made it clear that TRUST & TRUTH is absent in the actions and comments of most Americans...  and,

that is completely unacceptable...  to me...  and, it should be for you!!!

Not the same...

Today, is different than other days...  Typically, I live with extreme fatigue on a daily basis but this is seldom accompanied by anything else; however, today, I seem to be experiencing hot flashes all day long that cause me to sweat through my t-shirt, prompting the need for a shower...  these sweats are not like NIGHT SWEATS but are low-grade and constant similar to a hot flash even though a hot flash does not last  all day long.  In addition, I am experiencing something between nausea, indigestion, and a build-up of intestinal gasses.  My eyes feel swollen and tired and hurt in in sunlight.

Eating a small meal does not make me feel any better, nor does drinking water or drinking a soda pop and eating saltine crackers which usually works for me...  It this a new combination of side effects as a result of a build-up of immunotherapy  medications?  Don't know...  but it is two weeks before I see my Oncologist.  In the meantime, I just have to live with it...

Another Day... Another Dollar

Any day above ground is a good day, I have often told people who have asked me how's it going...  and, while that might be a clever response, it is pretty much the truth given my health situation.  With Lymphoma and Melanoma, I live under a constant threat that my Oncologist will one day tell me that there is nothing that medicine can do for me...

With that mentality, I have maintain a constant vigilance over my finances and have gotten to the point today where if I were to die tomorrow that there is enough money saved (along with selling the house and moving into a rental apartment) to pay the monthly expenses until my wife reaches the age of 97...

"Get your house in order," is what physicians tell terminal patients and knowing that I have preempted that from being told to me...  not sure why that might be important to me but it is. 

While I recognize that I am getting closer and closer to the end of my life at age 72 with two cancers, I have NEVER seen myself as dying...  and, I am not sure why other than I believe that GOD, our creator, has something planned for me of which I have yet to be informed. 

Does that mean that there is something yet for me to do?

Perhaps, I just don't know.

What I do know is that GOD is in charge of my life...  and, when it is time for me to go, I will go...  just like when it was time for me to be born, I was born...

This is my faith.

I trust my faith.

I live today and plan for tomorrow...

A Decision to make

While East TN is not NY or NYC, there are still over 1000 covid-19 cases in this State and the numbers are growing, especially in the smaller towns and rural areas and I seriously believe that many people are not reporting their symptoms because they do not want to be put in the hospital and possible end-up on a respirator, never coming home again.

There are also an alarming number of cases where people have the disease and are contagious but show no symptoms possibly infecting everyone with whom they come in close contact.

It is scary out there these days!!!

My decision is this:  A couple of months ago, I slipped and fell on some wet wooden steps going down to my back yard, and after going up into the air, landed right on my back.  Sharp pain scorched through my body as I lay there motionless trying to ascertain the extent of my injury, contemplating a horrible problem to my back.  I managed to get up and walk around and over the course of a few days, the pain went away.  However, lower back pain continued to bother me and on a recent visit to the clinic for sinus problems, my back was X-rayed, showing a hair line crack and a bulging disk...  This was later confirmed by a CT scan for my cancer progression and staging...  So, since there is no current back in my lower back and because of covid-19 potential exposure, should I push my orthopedic visit out to June or keep it for this month?

My first instinctive thought is to push it out until June...   and, possibly further UNLESS my back hurts so bad, I cannot move around easily...   and, hope that it is not too late for action...

Video Conferencing

A video conference is a live, visual connection between two or more people residing in separate locations for the purpose of communication. At its simplest, video conferencing provides transmission of static images and text between two locations.

This Thursday, I will be having a video conference with my Prostate doctor because of COVID-19 and while that my be convenience, it is not without concern:

The main concern is that there can be NO PHYSICAL examination

On the other side of the coin, I strongly believe that video conferencing will be the future of healthcare in this country...  especially when it comes to follow-ups which is typically handled my Nurse Practitioners and not the actual physician.

This will be my first appointment with a Prostate Specialist and for the most part, I would suspect that all that will happen is a few questions asked to try and pinpoint the situation and then set up future tests to verify the diagnosis.

As I understand Prostate Cancer... it grows slowly...  so, there is plenty of time...

PET Scan

A PET Scan is an image made using positron emission tomography.  These images  are a type of test that create 3 dimensional (3D) pictures of the inside of your body. PET stands for positron emission tomography. The PET scan uses a mildly radioactive drug to show up areas of your body where cells are more active than normal. It's used to help diagnose some conditions including cancer.

My Oncologist requests alternating CT and PET Scans every 3 months so today I was scheduled for a PET Scan that requires me to have a radioactive dye injected into my body and after waiting an hour, lay on the table that moves through the doughnut shaped machine as images are taken of the insides of my body.  The scan itself lasts about 15 minutes.

I lay on my back with my knees propped up and lay my arms down by my side tucking my hands underneath my butt.  Even though it is only 15 minutes, my neck begins to get numb laying on the hard pillow, my knees begin to get numb, and my hands begin to get numb as well.

This morning, I was wearing a surgical face mask as well as disposable on both hands.  This time, more and more people were wearing face masks than when I had been at the hospital two weeks ago for chemo treatment.

It is good to see that people are finally taking COVID-19 seriously.

In two weeks, I will see my Oncologist to get the result of this scan and informed if my cancers have maintain, reduced, grown, and/or spread.  I go through this every 90 days.

Sunday Morning

At my age, the days of the week pass by as quickly as passing gas after eating Southern Style Pinto Beans and corn bread...

Tomorrow, I have a PET scan to RESTAGE MY CANCERS...  so, what exactly does that mean?  Scans, such as CT/PET scans are performed to determine is the cancer is growing or if it has decreased or if it has spread to another other locations or if there are any new cancer origins...

This new staging data will be used to determined future treatment and if the current treatment is still working.

And while this is a necessary activity, my senses and feelings are alerted because of COVID19 and the fact that I really should be staying at home.

So, tomorrow, I will wear a face mask and gloves when I enter the hospital...

Today,
I feel fatigued and sleepy even though I sleep 10 hours last night and only got up once to pee which is amazing because I am usually up for that 2-3 times each night.

I cannot allow myself to take a nap today because I need to wake up at 5:30 am tomorrow...

Bandana Face Mask

Acceptable Ranges for Men                        MY COUNTS

White Blood Count   3.5-10.5                           1.8                                     
Red Blood Count      4.3-5.7                             2.3
Hemoglobin Count   135-175                           115
Hematocrit Count     38.8-50.0                         27.1
Platelet Count           150,000-450,000             93,000


I have no immunity
I have a low percentage of red blood cells
I am anemic
My blood does not clot fast
I don't have much oxygen carry protein

I have experienced these low counts since 2010 or for the last 10 years, while undergoing chemo treatments for the last 12 years.

Friday Morning In East TN

Stay At Home Orders

Wear Face Mask Orders

Social Distancing Orders

This is what it is like for some of us who are retired...  We have been staying at home...  We have been social distancing...

What is interesting to me is that Medical Experts are now saying that they underestimated the power of the COVID-19 virus...  These are medical experts...  experts are not supposed to be making mistakes and yet they did...  so, why are they called experts???

How will this VIRUS impact our ECONOMY???

Will we have another GREAT DEPRESSION???

NOW...  people are realizing what cancer patients have been feeling during their treatments...  how long with they survive and is their new life worth surviving?

Getting sick, regardless of what it is...   is a BITCH...

Melanoma Skin Cancer

Stay the F _ _ K at home!!!

Side Effects

2:16 am} and, I cannot sleep...

Retired, so I worry about very little other than what am I going to do tomorrow...

My eyes and body feel tired but when I lay down in the bed, I feel wide awake and just lay there wondering when the drowsiness will put me to sleep...

So, here I am drinking coffee with a little Cappuccino Mix in it to make it swallow a little easier...   and actually, I think I have become addicted to this sugar-free or fat-free mix because straight coffee no longer tastes good to me which is typically all I used to drink after being in the Navy...

I was in communications and worked in the Radio Shack on the USS Recovery ARS-43 which was a salvage and rescue ship.  It had less than 100 men aboard her and every two years she would spend 6 months in the Mediterranean Sea patrolling outfitted with the latest surveillance gear before leaving port at Little Creek, VA which was part of the Norfolk Naval Base.

About 1:00 am this morning I awoke from sleep because I had to take a piss and after laying back down in my soft, comfortable warm bed, laid there for a hour unable to return to sleep.

Because of my non-Hodgkin's "B" cell Lymphoma, I take 2 - 140 mg tablets of IMBRUVICA  daily which is considered an Immunotherapy Drug, not a Chemotherapy Drug.

Common side effects of Imbruvica include:
low platelet count,
diarrhea,
neutropenia,
anemia,
fatigue,
musculoskeletal pain,
muscle spasms,
joint pain,
swelling of the extremities,
fever,
upper respiratory tract infection,
cough,
shortness of breath,
nausea,
bruising,
indigestion,
constipation,
rash,
abdominal pain,
vomiting,
decreased appetite,
swelling of the mouth and lips,
urinary tract infection,
pneumonia,
skin infections,
sinus infection,
weakness,
nosebleed,
decreased appetite,
dehydration,
dizziness, and
headache.

Of course, my inability to sleep could be coming from my enlarged prostate and a PSA count that was twice what it was last year and over the recommended amount and the reason why I am going to a Urologist to see if I have prostate cancer next week.

In addition to my IMBRUVICA, I am receiving a monthly infusion of OPDIVO to control my Metastatic Melanoma which in a matter of 41/2 years went from my foot to my groin to my neck; although, when it was removed from my neck, the Melanoma was DEAD thanks to the radiation treatments I had along with the OPDIVO infusions; apparently, when OPDIVO is combined with radiation, the radiation super-charges the OPDIVO to fight the Melanoma...   lucky me...

Common side effects of Opdivo include:

• fatigue
• rash
• itching
• cough
• upper respiratory tract infection
• swelling of the extremities
• shortness of breath
• muscle pain
• decreased appetite
• nausea
• vomiting
• constipation
• diarrhea
• weakness
• swelling
• fever
• abdominal pain
• chest pain
• joint pain
• weight loss
• irregular heartbeat
• eye inflammation
• infusion-related reactions
• increased amylase
• increased lipase
• dizziness
• numbness and tingling
• skin peeling
• skin redness and
• psoriasis.

YEAH...  I was pretty frigging amazed when I saw these two lists too...  I have been taking immunotherapy drugs for two years but I have also been taking chemotherapy drugs for 10 years, all of which basically has the same side effects...   

WHILE sleeplessness in not on the list...  WTF...  I experience it once or twice a week like clockwork...

Hodgkin's versus Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma

April Fool's Day

Wanna Be Arrested???

STAY AT HOME

Some States have STAY AT HOME ordinances and if you violate those ordinances then you could be arrested, jailed, and/or fined.

Is this behavior appropriate?

The question pertains to both sides...  enacting the law in the first place and violating the law in the second place...

Should a Democracy enforce laws like this against our freedoms on behalf of the whole?

I BELIEVE THAT THEY SHOULD...

Our New Heroes

Rescheduled

Today, I rescheduled my dermatology appointment from this month until June because of COVID-19 and not wanting to be out in-the-public unless I have to and my doctor there told me that I MUST come in June regardless...

I am going to see the Dermatologist because of my metastatic melanoma and because my treatment for lymphoma causes skin cancers...  a double whammy...

I have already rescheduled my appointment to see an allergist because of my constant sinus problems but am keeping my appointment with my urologist for possible prostate cancer and my regular oncologist because of my cancers he is treating.

I have a slipped disk in my back due to a fall several weeks ago and have been experiencing back issues but they are manageable so I might decided to push that one out until June since it is scheduled this month.

Authorities say that TN is not going to peak until the end of this month or May...   PISSER...

My biggest concern is that I am in the HIGH RISK category...

US Naval Ship COMFORT

USNS Comfort arriving in NYC harbor today...

ANTICIPATION...

Ready for Covid-19 patients...

Self Quarantine

PROSTATE CANCER

 

COVID-19\\: East TN

There are over 1,200 confirmed COVID-19 cases in the State of TN, 33 confirmed in Knoxville, and 5 confirmed in Jefferson City where I live...  this increase took place in less than 10 days...  and, the last time I was out and about, no one was protecting themselves at all unless you were coming into a hospital...

How STUPID is stupid?

Of course, that is a rhetorical question.

I two weeks, I have been out-of-the-house twice, once to get gasoline and wore gloves to pump the gas but no face mask since there was no one else within 10 feet of me and then to the Hospital's Cancer Center for my monthly treatment where I wore a face mask and gloves but no one else was except nurses who greeted everyone in the lobby.

NOT EVEN THE CHEMO NURSES WORE FACE MASKS AND/OR GLOVES...

Some patients wore face masks but took them off when they saw no one else was wearing one...  and, I am reminded of Forrest Gump's mother saying:  "STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES..."

For the next two weeks, I will go NOWHERE except to see a Urologist for the first time because my PSA count doubled since last year which is an indication of possible cancer in the prostate...  hopefully, that is not the case, but I requested the appointment as soon as I heard my numbers from my primary physician...

At my age (72) and with two types of cancers already in my body, I don't want to take any chances of let's wait and see...

It's Been A Week...

… since President Trump has asked the American People to self-quarantine...  and, how have we responded?

Well, the USA now LEADS the world in the number of COVID-19 cases...  I would say that Americans did not follow the President's advice...  but, that is to be expected... I mean, we are Americans after all...

What if I were to die???

I think about that reality more than I ever have before these days, especially now that I am fighting two cancers:  non-Hodgkin's "B" cell Lymphoma and Metastatic Melanoma.  But, in two weeks I go to see a Urologist because my PSA doubled since last year, and I may have Prostate Cancer on top of my other two cancers...

Of course, I am hoping that is not the case, but what if it is?

That would make dying and death more of a reality for me...  and, is everything in order?  To that question, I would have to rely YES...

If I were to die today, and if and when my wife needed to sell the house and move into an apt. she would have enough money to pay the bills for the next 30 years or until she reaches 97 years of age...  However, if she were to remarry or decide to live with someone, she would obviously have more money to leave in an inheritance to her son.

How does that make me feel?

Wonderful about the money...   but, about another man...  well, over the last few years we have grown apart and having another man take my place then or NOW, might just be a relief...

The fact of the matter is that cancer patients have to think like this and deal with these issues, even though they are hoping and praying they live more than the odds say that they will live...  if, they ignore this because they think their prayers will be answered, then they are doing a disservice to their families...

CANCER IS A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE...

COVID-19 UPDATE

The U.S. has overtaken China as the country with the most cases in the world of the novel coronavirus, marking a new milestone in the fight against the global pandemic.

China had held the top spot since the deadly virus began spreading there in December.

Read the full story here...

Chemo Day Debrief

WOW...  is really all I have to say...  there are almost 1000 COVID-19 cases in TN and when I got to UT Medical Center - Cancer Bldg., only the nurses at the entrance checking your temp wore face masks and gloves...  otherwise, it was NADA...  no one, not the doctors, nurses, or patients gave me the impression that they were very concerned about this at all...

I wore a mast but forgot my clothes but I did bring wipes and used them on my lounger before I sat down...  My mask was worn not to protect other people but to protect ME from other people...  so, in that sense I did what I needed to do.

This visit was labs and treatment, no doctor visit...  I will get labs, doctor, and treatment next month.  So, once I checked in, I betcha I did not wait more than 5 minutes before my name was called for labs and then the labs nurse took me to my assigned chemo suite where I waited for tests to be performed that would indicate if I was a good candidate for treatment.  OPDIVO is the only drug that I have taken when I have to meet certain lab qualification in order to receive treatment.

My treatment started at 9:00 after checking in at 7:45 and I was done by 9:30...  a good hour or before I am normally done when I see the doctor.

The only side effects of OPDIVO that have affected me are FATIGUE and NAUSEA...  And, over the last 18 months, I have only had to take nausea pills a dozen times or so...

It seems like every time I go for my chemo, I hear about someone having it worse than me and always consider myself very fortunate because I have had minimal problems...

Chemo Day

My monthly visit to the hospital's chemo suite has arrived...  and, my check-in time is 7:45 am...  but, it will be 9:00 or 9:30 before I get called in after my labs are taken because one of my pre-tests for OPDIVO takes 60 minutes complete...  and, once in my lounger, I still might wait another 30 minutes or so before my toxic cocktail is ready to infuse into my body.

My treatment takes 30 minutes to administer which is a hell of a lot better than the 4-6 hours it took me to have RITUXAN infused into my body.

There are no pre-meds administered for OPDIVO to prevent nausea, even though nausea is one of the side effects...  which sounds strange but so far that does not seem to bother me.

The nurses are friendly but no overly so and none of them seem to hurry around with any kind of urgency so a 30 minute treatment could last 60-90 minutes by the time you are walking out the door.  However, there is this female volunteer on the floor who is in her 80's I would say who asks if there is anything that she can get you like a blanket, something to drink, or some crackers.

The first time we met, she fussed at me for not smiling and I told her that this was just the way my face was made; but, when I see her coming, I give her a great big smile like a possum eatin' shit... and, she always has to stop and talk with me, as if she had really missed me.

OPDIVO is considered immunotherapy as opposed to chemotherapy.

Covid-19 Update

Covid_19 as of 24Mar20

To check out the latest data, click here...

Taking a break...

How to make a face mask

What Is Lymphoma?

Every Once In A While...

… I can go outside and work in the yard all day long and feel great for the rest of the night and then I can go outside and work 30 minutes and in the early evening hours feel like I have been hit with a "ton of bricks," and can barely keep my eyes open.

Yesterday, was one of those days...  I had about 20 minutes left of weed eating from the day before when my tired body said it needed to stop...  so, I went at it the next day and not feeling tired, decided to work a few minutes with a pic axe preparing a garden bed and after a few minutes of that, my body said it needed to stop.  Mind you, I was not swinging the axe from over my head but was bent over slightly and moving it from my should down into the ground.

Around 7:00 pm, my eyes would not stay open and I felt like I had had no sleep the night before.  I laid on the bed and closed my eyes and did not wake up until 12 hours later.

Sometimes, I think that if I am due for my monthly infusion of chemo that my body reacts inappropriately the closer we get to that deadline.  My Oncologist says that there is no connection but it could be that nobody ever bitched about it before like me...

One Day Ago

Health care professionals at hospitals and medical centers across the country are having to reuse and ration personal protective equipment like masks, gowns and face shields, due to stock shortages amidst the coronavirus pandemic.

“The situation is terrible, really terrible,” Dr. Niran Al-Agba, a pediatrician in Washington state told The New York Times. “I don’t think we were prepared.”

Medical supplies such as surgical masks have quickly dwindled in the U.S. during the coronavirus outbreak. Physicians and nurses have to frequently change their masks since they are in close contact with patients that have the illness.

The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends that all healthcare professionals use surgical masks to cover the mouths and noses while working, but some hospitals, according to the Times, have required employees to wear N95s — thicker, tighter-fitting masks that do a better job of filtering out smaller particles than regular surgical masks.

This week, Vice President Pence advised construction companies to stop ordering masks and to donate what they have to hospitals. Additionally, Surgeon General Jerome Adams told the public to stop buying masks to help preserve what stock is left.

There are more than 13,000 confirmed cases of COVID-19 in the U.S. with at least 176 deaths.

Night Sweats

One of the side effects of chemotherapy, immunotherapy, and radiation is having NIGHT SWEATS...  and, like all good cancer patients, I am no exception to this...  sometimes, these night sweats are intense and sometimes they are mild but they are nonetheless an ongoing activity with me but are intermittent in the occurrence.  That is to say, they do not happen every night or every other night or once every 4-5 days or even once a week, they just happen when they happen and it could be a week or more between each episode.

I keep two folded sheets beside my bed in case I need to use them to cover the wet spots but if both the bottom and top sheets are wet, then I typically put on a bathrobe and simply get back into the bed and finish my sleep which is not always easy, especially if these sweats happen early in the morning, then it is difficult to fall back asleep again, so I usually just get up, feed the cats, and make coffee.

Sometimes, they taken place a day or two before my next chemo session but the Oncologist says that there is no connection and that it is just a coincidence, but I am not sure if I agree since I have notice that happening more than once...  in fact, it happens more often than it does not happen.

COVID-19

My wife and I had booked a condo at Destin, Florida during the middle of April this year and now because my this VIRUS and the Presidential request to practice SOCIAL DISTANCING, we are now thinking that we should "eat the money" and stay home.

We heard today that the beaches in Destin, Florida have been closed until the end of April and we could simply spend the week in our condo, but we still have to drive down there, stop for gas, food, and restrooms which increases my risk more than if we were to just stay home.

If I was still receiving monthly infusions of IVIG, I would be in a better position to make the journey but since IVIG was stopped, there is absolutely no protection at all for my lack of immunity to ward off disease.

In the past, cancer patients oftentimes did not die from the cancer but from contracting other diseases due to a destroyed immune system...

Even here at home, I don't leave the house unless I have a doctor visit that cannot wait or to receive my monthly infusion of OPDIVO...

I Have No Taste

After 12 years of chemo once a month, I am left with the sensation of taste when it comes to eating or drinking most of the time...

I love coffee, but I cannot taste it really.

I love apple pie but I cannot taste the apples.

I love scrambled eggs, grits, and sausage but I cannot taste the various flavors.

BUT, I eat and drink anyway.

Oddly enough, I think the taste of Apple Cider Vinegar is delicious although it has a bit of a tang to it which is fine for me because I like sour.

My sense of smell is off/on but I think that is more due to sinus issues than a side effect of chemo although I am sure it is all intertwined.

IT WAS WHEN I TURNED 60

My life was completely changed and turned around, when I turned 60...

Prior to being 60:

• I was extremely healthy and physically fit
• I had low blood pressure
• I had low cholesterol level
• I was within my weight limits
• I ate healthy
• I stopped smoking at age 40
• I exercised daily
• I walked 5 miles a day
• I was never sick

But, all that changed in 2007 when I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's B cell Lymphoma and in 2008, experienced a heart attack while walking on the treadmill.  My LAD was blocked 100% and two other arteries on the left side were blocked 90% and I was told that I needed a triple bypass...  but, my brother put me in touch with a doctor in NYC who cleaned out my arteries and inserted stints.

NO ZIPPER ON MY CHEST

My treatments to keep my Lymphoma in check caused me to contract Melanoma in 2012 which at times appeared to be taking over my body and life would soon be over for me...  but, then my body gained the advantage with the help of radiation and immunotherapy.

NOWADAYS, I live with:

1. fatigue
2. nausea
3. sinus infections
4. weight gain
5. flu like symptoms
6. no immune system
7. bruise easily
8. slow blood clotting
9. no taste
10. no smell

Could all of this been prevented?

Perhaps, but I do not know what I might have needed to do differently...  I basically did everything right when it came to keeping my body healthy.  Poor stress management caused my heart attack, but not sure where my Lymphoma came from and there is a good possibility that it had been lying dormant in my body for decades...

I am tolerating my illnesses well because of my HEALTHY BODY and for that I am thankful and will always be thankful.

We can learn something from that...  but, everyone is different.

Chemo Brain

Chemo brain is a common term used by cancer survivors to describe thinking and memory problems that can occur during and after cancer treatment. Chemo brain can also be called chemo fog, cancer-related cognitive impairment or cognitive dysfunction.



Last night, I had night sweats again...  not bad, just a mild episode, but it still wet the sheets...  so, I slept on the other side of the mattress.

This morning, I am in a fog...

tired...

        confused...

                      without an appetite...


My cats don't understand me when I am this way...  but, they do still accept me...  and, patiently wait on the foot of the bed until I awake so that I can give them a treat...  then, one wants a drink out of the bathroom faucet while the other one wants me to check their food bowl in the other room, and the third one (the Siamese) wants me to give him some attention as if I have not been around for years...  although, if that were really the case, he would ignore me because of being pissed off that I abandoned him.

Today, this was my routine.

Tomorrow, it may be the same or it may be different.

However...  I am always tired...  always feeling like I need more sleep...

I have been up for 4 hours and I am still not hungry...  perhaps, it is the coffee that has filled my stomach sufficiently enough.

Myt treatments are on-going

As mentioned earlier, I am in my 13th year of being treated for Lymphoma having being diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's "B" cell Lymphoma in 2007.  Also mentioned earlier, I have had numerous types of chemo therapies that have kept the cancer from growing but now I am on immunotherapy and take daily pills of IMBRUVICA, 2 capsules of 140mg which seem to be working and which are rather expensive with my out-of-pocket expenses being around $8-10,000 annually; however, I have been able to get a grant from the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society each year to cover all those costs...

Needless to say, I have been lucky there.

IMBRUVICA leaves me with constant fatigue and flu like symptoms and has also been causing me to have repetitive sinus infections about every 6 weeks.

In addition to this drug, I am receiving monthly infusions of OPDIVO for my Melanoma which I discovered I had in 2012 or 8 years ago...  on the bottom of my left foot which was surgically removed...  NO TREATMENT GIVEN...

In 2017/18, the Melanoma reappeared in my groin with a vengeance and I was started on Yervoy and Opdivo which had little affect other than to keep it from growing which I suppose is GREAT...  then, in the summer of 2018, I received 6 radiation treatments while continuing my infusions but just with Opdivo.

The combination of radiation/OPDIVO worked and my Melanoma reduced substantially.

Needless to say, I was again lucky.

Both radiation and OPDIVO have side-effects of extreme fatigue...

So, there you have it.

GAINING CONTROL OVER MY WEIGHT

All of us, from time-to-time, have made an effort to go on a diet for one reason or another and most of the time, we have discover that we gewt into a cycle of losing weight then gain weight then lose it...  as frustrating as it is, we still manage to keep trying.

I remember that around 1990, I decided to lose weight by counting my FAT GRAMS and focused on eating complex carbohydrates because the body stores them then converts them to sugars as needed for energy.  This is exactly why LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS bulk up on pancakes before a long distance race.  Interestingly, at least for me, counting fat grams did help me lose weight.

My ongoing battle with cancer has cause me to gain somewhere between 30-40 pounds and recently I decided to watch what I eat but this time instead of counting fat grams, I am counting CALORIES while making sure I eat the recommended daily allowance of PROTEIN, DAIRY, GRAINS, VEGETABLES, AND FRUITS.

To help me with this, I created the following template:

According to my research, one loses weight if one eats between 1600-2000, maintains weight between 2100-3000 (depending upon how active one is...  so, if not too active, then it should be 2100-2500 or so) and gaining weight would have us eating above 3000 calories each day.

Of course, one must be dedicated to this process so that he or she is willing to fill out this template on a daily basis.  

I have also discovered that calories and the daily allowance can be averaged over a 7 day period of time, but it is not recommended because it throws the body out-of-balance.

LIVING WITH CANCER 2020

It's been several months, since I posted anything here...

I am not sure why that is other than when I write about my illness, I tend to think about my illness and those types of memories are not always the best to have...

Well...  here is what's happened since my last post.

Due to a shortage in IVIG, I was removed from the schedule since my illness and low immune system was not life threatening.  About 3 months ago, I started having sinus infections, resulting in me going to the clinic about every 6 weeks for antibiotics and a steroid shot.  My last episode caused me to lose my voice due to all the sinus drainage.  

I mentioned this problem to my Oncologist who sent me for a CT scan of my sinuses only to find NOTHING REMARKABLE...  so, I am destined to live with this for now or until I can get put back on the IVIG schedule.

Meanwhile, my 6 month check-up with my family physician revealed not only that my prostate was enlarged but that my PSA test results were twice the number they were last year...   so, now I am off to see a urologist to be tested for prostate cancer.

Right now, I cannot seem to get motivated to do much of anything and this lack of motivation is one of the reasons why I have not posted anything in so long...